Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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