Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
