I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
