I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
