I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize