i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
