hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
