i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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