we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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