As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
