If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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