absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Of course I have a pirate flag
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
