isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
