3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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