dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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