Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
