I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
