The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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