I cut my penus on the lid.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
