She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
