So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
