she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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