i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
