Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
