I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he puts the penis in happiness.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
