I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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