Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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