How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
