I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
