I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
