My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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