We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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