She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
