Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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