Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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