So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize