handjob tips. give me some.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
