thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
