Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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