I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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