I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize