If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
