You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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