Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
