Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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