Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
