He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
