I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
