New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
