I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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