I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
