the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
