I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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