And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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