It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
