Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
