did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
