you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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