Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
