So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
tell me about the eggs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
