you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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