Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
