We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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