it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
