Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He passed out mid-signature
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The air was thick with penises
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
